Its a new world.Its a new day.Its a new life

Thursday, September 3, 2009

dead and gone

K,right now its 2:18.its 3rd sept 2009.

8 mored days before im serving my ns.4 weeks of hell i suppose.?.I'm not afraid of facing that harsh hellish battle zone.i don't mind at all.But i mind.this.Life.my beloved.friends.and that special someone.

Everyone knows.life do sucks.but.why go through it.everyday.Im 19+ going to be 20 soon.and im glad till today.i could hear my heart beat.i could feel my feet touching the floor.i could see smiles.i could taste the god damn delicious foods out there.

Everyone may see me.as easy going.relax.go with the flow kinda attitude.you guys feel this space up larh ok.hahah.but im actually afraid.of beng alone.it realy scares me.This fear devour me every time..why u ask.its simple.

I grew up alone.i grew up by the streets.no one thought me from right or wrong.Where are my parents u might asked.erm,they are still here alive.well.:D.great.ermm.how should i put it nicely.they are the kind.which give me freedom to explore with little guidence.but who made me for who i am is the experience.ive seen through out my life.Ive been to the lowest of lowest.and for now.highest of highest.so.u might be wondering.why.i am so.reckless.sometimes.bescause i dun understand.im very curious about life.realy.i do.its hard to mould my mind.because it was everywhere at first.it wasnt easy.

Things change.when i retained.when i was 15.i failed all my subjects.(proud of it though:D)..but.the year before i reenter school.it was the hardest shit.i use to have this uncle of mine.whom.i can speak to.(i rarely speak to my parents bout my problem).he died from leukemia.i love him.i do.i was there for him.like most of the time.push his wheel chair brought him to food centres.helped him to stand.he peed while i hold him firmly.i was 15.so.exactly 1 mth before he died.i wanna meet him.cause he was in a bed state.my mum told me im too young to go in.i was kinda pissed...he died in december.3rd if i recall correctly..i cried.while wishing my farewell.kissed him on the forehead.before he was sent to the cemetry.god.that was the time.when i cry like a baby...the last place.i ate with was at west coast ayer rajah.:D.thats where i use to work.fate huh?

So that year also.i broke with my first long term ex galfren.we were going to our 1 year 6 mth.i couldnt handle her bull.nimore.it suck big time ya noe.i called off for the break up.while i was fucking her on the bed.hahahah.true story.no joke.so she cried chasing me.oh shes naked btw.i took the key and off i go...it was a relief.cause..my life better without her.this was 15.

I got my self in a deep shit.i was from a gang.hoho.i wanted to quit.(ill make this short and sweet.if ya wanna noe ask me.:D).so it was a big HOOHA.hahah.At one time they knock outside my door.and they were tons of them..yadaydayda.so they finally let me of.after a meeting with my head chief.i had to pay.and i was off.

So the year started with me.alone.:D.i rememberred i was the tall one.everyone was god damn short.it sucks.i was realy embarassed.i was trying to find someone tall to hide behind.and i did.:D.hoho...got new friends.new life.and the journey start from there.

Btw i was from home economics.hahahaha.so during that lesson right.i knew i will fail this god damn fucked up cook class.and i decided i took art.hahah.so theres this one time.the teacher ask.who is not happy with me.raise up.so i raise up.hahah.and told her i wanna go art class.hahah.i ran out.from the class.went to the art class.and literraly.beg.to get inside.before this.i know nuts about drawing.then i met this beautiful angel like motherly figure.:D.miss hoe!!.she said.show me what i can do.and i let u in.ofkorse i show her.SHE LET ME IN!!.thats when i discovered i can draw.and paint..hoho.

Oh.my first week of school i faught with this huge ass gorrilla.this big size bully.was pissing me off.hahah.so i went up to him.and settled.:D.hoho.

I cant miss this part.cause.this girl that im gona talk about.is a part of my journey...she was there the whole time.and.Her name.U guessed it.:D.this girl.ermm..this lady.is the source.of everything.to who i am now.this precious girl of mine.I grew up with her.knowing her.knowing her family.ive seen her small sis.from a baby to a toddler.i heard she can sing now.:D.she can run too!!.amazing kan~..and her lil bro.used to cry alot.but.its getting lesser.and more independent.thats what i heard from her..i know her past.and i share my past with her..we did amazing things together.weve beent too many malls.food courts.it was really beautiful...but its history now..but i wanna have a new chapter again with her.i realy do.It will be amazing this time.realy.i swear its gona work out..i wanna hear that very 3 words u gona tell me everyday..back then..im dying to hear that.my love.realy.kk.enaf.i need to stop here.i can go on forever.

Right now.ive been to many places.ive seen so many faces.heard many experience.and no regret.im living my life now.realy.!.what im trying to say is.ermm.it doesnt mattter.what shits ure gona face.face it.cause.the more u run.the more.it will chase you.and when ure alone.and the problem arise..its gona be difficult.i noe it will.dont worry.u have your friends.your family to rely on.but always remember not to repeat the mistake.

so here goes

To my beloved brother Iman.Bro i am realy happy i met you.serious shit.although.our friendship havent reach a year.we are like brothers.with diff blood and diff skin.hohhoho.bro.i realy want this from you.Ace this Os.go to your fav course.Aero space thing.go for it man.i noe u can do it.i noe u can.!.jangan malas bro.tak leh complacent ok!.oh jage farah!.dun repeat any mistake.cause i noe.in a glance.farah.is a beautiful girl.not only her exterior but her heart also.k?

To my young blood brother naz.Bro.gua wish you all the best.ure young.enjoy your life!.jgn luper buat home work.skola important siul.work hard.GRIND HARDER!!.hohohahah.u will get the girl of your dream.you have a talent.i sence that in you.work your way up.REACH SAMPAI Os!!.take good care of your self.ure young.and im glad youre so mature.JAGER MAN!!.hahahahah.

To My newest sister.Idaah.whatever happens.happens.tak leh rewind.:D.keep on going jer.Everything will heal.it will take time.k.work hard girl.serious SHYYYIATE!!hoho.kening da lawar nampak!.hehehe.sometime desicion have to be made.be brave.aku sayang kau siul!

To my Brother fahmy.bro.engineering kaper siuuut.haha.bro.jgn give up.work your way up.i noe u can do it bro.u have matured so much.realy.tu botol pun mesti maintain jugak!.rosak siul badan kau nanti.hahaha.enjoy bro!

hahaha.i dun realy noe why i type all this down.but.haha.i juz did.aku macm nak mati gitu kan..muahahhaa.aaku concern jer ngn korang.seroius.aku nanti duduk ns.korang camner jer.aku busy ker.aper ker.so look out for one another.hahah.always have this mentality.kalau kau susah.ade orang lagi susah.kalau die boleh solve.kenaper kau tak leh.!

posted by zifrukos at 2:18 AM